youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
