She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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