Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
