Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
50% drunk capacity currently
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
