she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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