'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
