All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
