I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do vagina's smell?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
