I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
