the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
