she woke up with a sticky ear
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
