I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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