Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
