You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
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Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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