she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
