He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
