i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
