He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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