okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
