Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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