he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
