I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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