she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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