I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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