Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
