Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
