Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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