Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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