i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
