I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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