Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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