I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
