I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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