Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
