No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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