Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
