He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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