marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I supernannyed him into submission
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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