We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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