Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
this hospital has no fireball
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
