I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
mondays should just be called national damage control day
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
