i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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