I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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