just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
