Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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