after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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