So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
