Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
