someone get that fucking seahorse.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
