her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
