How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
