bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
