The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
