The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
