with your own penis?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
