Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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