I murdered the dance floor call the cops
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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