Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
