i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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