I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize