Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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