Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
