Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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